Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Relationship Maintenance Tips

In preparation for the New Year and 2014 many may have undertaken maintenance around the house such as: sprucing up the yard, painting the deck, spring cleaning the house, even booking a holiday etc.  But what about maintenance on the primary relationship - maybe it is in fine shape but it's always a good idea to do a check.

The following are some handy relationship maintenance tips:

Create a genuine commitment by; spending pleasurable time together, sharing each other's world and frequent reassurance of your love.  Commitment starts with a decision - decide to be committed.

Become emotionally connected.  Connecting requires not only bonding but also more importantly intimacy.  Bonding is a shared experience, which includes physical proximity, while intimacy includes emotional closeness and mutual vulnerability (ie sharing feelings).  Talking openly and sharing each other's life creates connection.

Show that you value your partner by:
  • Giving their happiness high priority.
  • Showing an interest in your partner's life.
  • Showing you value your partner's input.
  • Not taking your partner for granted.
Maintain best friend & physical chemistry by:
  • Giving the relationship top priority ie doing relationship maintenance including creating romance.
  • Creating an emotional safe zone by:  Being approachable, being open to hear your partner without defensiveness and anger.  Eliminate the need to 'walk on eggshells'.
  • Listening to each other from the heart.  Be present.
  • Creating relationship equality through respect and fairness.
  • Commitment to peacemaking ie begin working on restoring the trust quickly if it is broken.
  • Commitment to work on self-love eg clearing away baggage from childhood etc.
  • Commitment to personal development.

Chris Newell